Making Schools Safe

A recent article came out on the developments of an act called Safe Schools Improvement Act. This act just gained support from Congress, which is huge because the article also mentions how there are no federal law or policy that requires schools to implement policies on bullying or harassment. While some states have their own rules or ideas about addressing bullying, if any, I think this act could successfully make schools a safer place.

The literature review I did for this class included research on how school avoidance played into kids that were being bullied. The places where they knew bullies would be or where they often hang out would be places that the victims would avoid. Some would even skip school, making them miss out on days or even weeks of education. Schools are the central place for youth to learn social skills and how to interact socially. It should not be a place of fear and avoidance.

So if this act does pass, which it looks like it might, do you think anything will change? Sure there will definitely be programs and strict rules when it comes to bullying and harassment in all schools across the nation, but will they be effective? Some states already have programs regardless of this act, yet there is still bullying out there.

While I do not think this will not change bullying outside of schools or cyberbullying or anything like that, I do think it is important that this act passes. School should not be seen as a place to dread in any other sense besides the fact that it brings the stress of grades and tests. Youth should not be afraid to walk down the halls. I do not see this act as something that will antagonize or make bullies angrier, but as something that will defer them, and hopefully teach them, not to taunt their classmates.

What do you think? Will this act make schools a better place or just make the institution worse? Will this act actually stop bullying in schools?

Cyberbullying Effects

Some people do not take cyberbullying seriously. "Just turn off your computer!" "Ignore them." It seems like a simple solution, but how long can you go without checking your phone or your social media networks? Media is almost as important as breathing when it comes to youth in our society today. Even if they are not on their laptops or computers at home, they have smartphones and iPods that can get on wifi or 3G and give them access to the internet. Before, when bullying was mostly in person and sometimes escapable, these new outlets make it impossible for youth to get away from the constant harassment.

So how do we track something as difficult as cyberbullying? Can we really put a screenname to a face? Can parents tell everything that goes on with their child? This website suggests parents adding their child on Facebook, playing XBOX live with them... Basically anything that involves the internet. Is that really a solution? I mean, personally, my mom made me add her on Facebook otherwise I was not allowed to have one. Not all kids follow their parents' rules. Besides that, with private messages and other websites that do not require an account and allow anonymity, there is only so much a parent can track.

So with cyberbullying being even harder to avoid, we can only imagine the negative effects and difficult tolls it takes on youth. Television and movies depicts it all. How do you avoid the unavoidable? There is an older movie called Odd Girl Out that I really recommend watching. This girl is getting instant messages from people who call her awful names, they make websites about her, use their phones to send her somewhere to hang out with them (resulting in her being abandoned). It makes you wonder why kids are so cruel. Do you think that the lack of face-to-face pressure creates a cyberbully? Or even just makes a bully do it more frequently? Do you think cyberbullying is any worse than regular bullying?

Know Your Signs

One of the hardest things for parents is knowing that their child is being bullied. It is noted here that bullying makes children feel helpless or isolated, fearing backlash or retaliation from their bully and fear that their friends will reject them. Those are just a few of the reasons why youth may be less likely to tell a parent or teacher  that they are being harassed. So how do we know that someone is being bullied? What are the signs?

A few notable signs are: unexplainable injuries, lost/ruined items, feeling or faking sick, change in eating habits, difficulty sleeping, declining grades/school avoidance, loss of friends/avoiding social situations, decreasing self-esteem, or any actions related to running away, self-harm, or mention of suicide. It is important to take each of these signs, and any other signs, seriously when you notice them. If you think someone is joking about wanting to die or making light of some kid in their class that constantly teases them, don't brush it off. They are reaching out to you, even if it seems like nothing. Chances are that they would not mention it if it did not matter to them.

In all honesty, I believe we should focus more on teaching our children not to bully than teaching our children to cope with bullies. Do parents know that their child is a bully or do they miss the signs? The list of common signs of a bully are: they get into fights often, have friends that are bullies, aggressive, are reprimanded by the principal, teachers, or get detention often, have extra money or new belongings, blame others for any problems, do not accept responsibility, and are competitive. These are just some warning signs you can look out for in our children.

Do you think these warning signs help? Can you think of any more that were not mentioned in this article? Have you ever witnessed these signs?

Stand Out, Stand By, Stand Up

There are three types of people in this world when it comes to bullying, aside from bullies. Those who stand out, those who stand by, and those who stand up. The ones who stand out are the victims. There is something about them that is different that someone else finds to be unacceptable. Next is those who stand by, and those are the ones who witness bullying and do nothing. Lastly, those who stand up are, as noted in this blog, heroes.

Standing up is one of the hardest things for youth to do because that changes their status to standing out, making them a target. Everyone can think of a time when they witnessed someone being bullied, made fun of, or harassed where they did not say anything. Think back on that time and think of the situation you were in. Was it one of your friends being mean to someone else, compromising your loyalty? Was it a popular kid that you did not want on your bad side? There is the constant fear of being made the newest target in school. So how can we prevent bullying with that fear in the back of our minds? Sure, we can teach kids about how not to bully, how to speak up, or how to avoid their attackers, but will they really follow through when we are not around?

As much as I would love to say the problem could be fixed if parents were teaching their kids not to be awful to others, no amount of parenting can really stop this, especially with the hidden cyberbullying that happens every day. Perhaps we can come up with some kind of workshop where they teach kids how to be bold and unafraid of what their peers think so that they can become this helpful bystander in these situations. Do you think that would work? What else do you think might help these kids?

Teaching Social Skills

Can teaching social skills at a young age really prevent bullying?

According to this article, the authors believe that the best way to gain and maintain friendships is to teach children social problem solving skills, empathy skills, and assertiveness skills. But is this really the case? Sure, learning how to solve problems socially can better the conflicts that arise between friends. Yes, empathy is helpful towards knowing what someone being bullied is going through. And of course being assertive can help to avoid conforming to bullying behaviors. The question is simple: will young children be able to understand these skills in relation to preventing bullying? How young is too young?

I think the target age should be elementary kids to middle school kids. I'm thinking fourth through sixth grade. Kids at this age are starting to form real peer relationships and are advancing towards one of the roughest times of their lives, aka middle school. Teaching children who are still with caregivers seems to be unhelpful, to say the least. They are not old enough nor are they in an environment where they could be having these interactions. I understand there is still bullying-like behaviors in young children, but I do not believe they are aware of their actions. A three year old throwing a toy at another youngster to me seems like something they can teach him is wrong, but at that age, it is more about learning the difference between right and wrong as opposed to how your actions affect others. I don not think a three year old has the mind capacity of empathizing.

The three skills mentioned in the article would definitely be effective towards my ideal target audience. I think people underestimate the elementary aged children, but I think that is when they are most willing to learn. As someone who babysits and has worked with kids in the past, I know their minds always wander and are willing to learn something reflective of the "older kids". But what do you think? What age is the right age? And are these skills the right skills?